Well, three years and eight hours later, The Hobbit finally comes to a close. The Battle of the Five Armies has its moments. Martin Freeman is predictably wonderful, some of the titular battle is impressive, and Galadriel being hardcore awesome is always appreciated. However, when it comes to this movie, “needless” is the main adjective that springs to mind.
Remember the big “this just got real” cliffhanger at the end of The Desolation of Smaug? Taken care of in about the first ten minutes. After that, it’s all dragon fever and arguing over gold and non-canon love triangles and endless fighting and people dying prettily. Whoever didn’t try to dissuade Peter Jackson from believing this small portion of the book warranted an entire movie, especially one that approaches two-and-a-half hours, is the cinematic definition of a good person standing by doing nothing.
I’m not denying that the battle is cool, but there’s way, way too much of it. When half of your movie is the same continuous battle, you’re not doing it right. Early in the fighting, it’s neat to watch the synchronized movements of the elf warriors, and Billy Connolly makes a fine dwarf general, but it’s not long before it becomes too much of the same. It’s hurt by the fact that the dwarves we’ve been following for the first two movies don’t even join the action until halfway through the fight. Sure, there are other people we know in the fracas, like Thranduil and Bard the bowman, but there’s not enough to connect with, and it just becomes battle sequences for the sake of them. (Also, Tauriel is really poorly served in this movie. If I were Evangeline Lilly, I’d be offended on behalf of my character.)
Worst of all, Bilbo is absent for much of it. There’s a looooong segment in which he’s not onscreen at all, and when he finally starts showing up again, it’s mainly just to react to stuff. The movie’s quality automatically increases whenever Bilbo has something to do – I really enjoy a scene he shares with Thranduil and Bard in the ramp-up to the battle, and it’s great overall to see how much he’s grown throughout the films – and devoting so much screentime to something he doesn’t take much part in makes it that much harder to invest in the action.
The Hobbit trilogy’s biggest contribution to Tolkien’s legacy? Any school kid looking to avoid their education by watching the movie instead of reading the book will be put off by the fact that slogging through all three films would probably take longer. Plus, any kid determined enough to watch in lieu of reading will be instantly found out when their book report contains stuff about Sauron returning, Radagast the Brown, the existence of an elf-elf-dwarf love triangle, and any number of invented or shoehorned bits. Well done, Peter Jackson – you’ve created a strong deterrent against cheating as well as a surefire way to spot it. Wouldn’t you rather have created a good, fun adaptation of The Hobbitinstead?
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